My answering machine message is:
“Hi, this is Scott’s phone, please leave me a message.”
That’s it. Couldn’t be simpler. No “Have a nice day”, or, “I’m busy at the moment”, or “I’ll get right back to you”.
Just a simple message. Everyone knows what to do.
Except the muppets.
“Hello? … Hello? *click*”
“Hello? … oh I can’t get this thing to work. *click*”
Kindly fuck off you morons 
You forgot to add “After the beep”. This should idiot proof your Voicemail.